Carl Beard

Player Profile by Captain Lee Herod Some believe Carl is related to Seal and before you ask im not talking about the singer but the mammal! With a similar physique, he flaps along the goal line whenever the ball gets close to him and he is the only person that I know who grunts with delight whenever a young lady wearing welly boots throws raw fish at him. That being said Carl Beard is a great performer on the pitch that gives everyone confidence to play attractive attacking football without too much worry for conceding. his shot stopping ability and awareness in front of goal has saved us on a number of occasions in previous seasons. He is the total package of a goalkeeper and in my opinion is one of the best goalkeepers in the leagues. As much as everyone slates him for his cup size (which rivals page 3 keeley Hazel) and his incredible gay tendencies, he is the man this club is built around. As our manager we all need someone who is able to analyse a game continuously and change players in a match to have a positive impact on the game when required, while making sure everyone on the pitch knows the job they are there for. Looking forward to this season we all know what we can expect from Carl as he does not accept second best or performing less that 100% of how he expects us to perform, add that to even more competition for places due to new players being signed will only increase the skill and ability of the team as a whole. For these reasons we expect to be challenging at the top of the table and looking to gain promotion for the third year in a row.

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